The Journey Toward Amadeus

Before I share of how my latest story came to be wrapped inside a cover, (it really is amazing) let me thank you - the person reading what I write. Whether you peruse my thoughts in these blogs, my Laugh at Life articles, and/or my novels, know that it all means very much to me that you use your time to read what I write.

As most of you know I began writing books in 2020, and published my first trilogy in 2021. That was a great learning experience, and most interestingly -- I was not propelled into the glamorous life I thought authors owned. LOL

Right after that was when my unplanned hiatus started. I kept writing, but publishing was a different matter.

Since 2021 I've done a crazy amount of writing and editing on more than one manuscript, but just over a year ago I began focussing intensely on Charlotte's story. More than one person read through the raw manuscript for me, and they shared brilliant suggestions of things I could improve on. Having said that, I'll pause to be more transparent here. Sometimes I'd question, not only out loud but loudly, how they could beat up what I thought to be perfectly formed thoughts and sentences. But then I'd take a few breaths, and admit that I'm not always right. In the end, people who afforded me their opinions gave me much to think about, and learn from.

I don't know if every writer is like this, but when I'm sitting and staring at what I'm satisfied is at least close to the finished product, I don't love waiting for the next step. BUT, God wanted me to wait.

After much praying, and research, I felt as though I would move forward with independently publishing -- a thought that freaked me out, but of which God kept bringing me back.

Isn't it interesting when He gives us a peace about something, but then we look in the mirror and scream ... BUT HOW?

I did more research then - into which direction that should take, and just who I'd pay to do the things I couldn't do. This met with many brick walls, which I didn't love smashing into.

Over the following months my frustration grew, but it finally ended with me crying, and authentically leaving it all with God. On one summer morning in 2024, my words were something close to this: “God, I don't know which way to go, or who to ask for help, so instead of worrying myself into insanity, you get to take it!" (Like it's His privilege or something). I ended with, "Please hear my cry, if this is really what you want me to do!"

I let it go after that, leaving writing off my agenda and spending more time doing other things. But (here comes the amazing part!) just a day or two later, a lovely woman I didn't know well knocked on our camper door. As this person and I chatted she asked if I was planning to publish another book. I told her about the struggles I have with "techy" things, but I also shared that I felt a peace about doing this independently, if and when that would ever happen. I knew it didn't make sense, but she didn't laugh. Instead, she asked if I had any idea of what I'd want on the cover. After I told her, she then offered to "take a whack" at it.

Long story shorter: Not only did Shannon Erickson design the beautiful cover for Amadeus, but she also did the very many things it takes to design an actual book on-line, and the one we get to hold in our hands.

God also sent Jennifer Arrington to do the formatting, which is arranging every printed word you see in any book.

I seriously cannot sing the praises of these women loud enough, and I KNOW that God put them in my life at just the right time, and for this specific story.

So, from not knowing which end was up last summer, to holding the book in my hands this February, God showed me again that if I'm willing to let go, He will take over.

I guess it's like this: why would He need to help if I'm blazing ahead on my own?

Has this ever happened to you?

Has there ever been a time when you know He wants you to do a specific thing, but you have no idea how to proceed? It might seem overwhelming, as it did for me, but as our hearts beat faster and we finally really give it over to Him, He WILL do the leading.

I hope I've learned these things (again):

1. To let God be the conductor of my life.

2. To have more faith in the fact that God will make things happen in His perfect time.

Hebrews 11:1 (NASB1995) "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."

Romans 8:28 (NASB1995) "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

May you be blessed today, as you lean on Him!

Pattie Janzen

PS - in case you thought I'd "independently" published this novel, now you know the truth. It may come across as published by myself, but I only wrote the story.