The Right Counsel

Years ago, I sought counselling for feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. Along with a recent move away from friends and family, I’d started a new job, had three small children to care for, a new church to attend, blah, blah, blah. When someone suggested that I talk to a therapist/counsellor, I thought that a grand idea. I could vent to an objective person, and if I seemed off my rocker she or he would be sworn to confidentiality, or they could commit me. At the time, that didn’t sound so bad either.

When we first met, the woman seemed to have a down-to-earth quality, which made me feel comfortable. 

And ... it only took two sessions of my whining before she shared the one thing that would magically improve my life. Her educated wisdom focused solely on this: my need to care for myself.

Myself—a young mother swamped with demands from morning 'til night. Take care of me? Why hadn’t I thought of that? 

She stressed the importance of doing things such as going to the spa, leaving everything and everyone to gain alone-time for at least short periods, prioritizing a portion of our already stretched budget ‘just for me,’ and a few other suggestions I won’t mention in polite company. 

Over the following week, I pondered that as I more acutely observed my husband and children.  When I next sat in her office, that therapist asked me if I’d taken her advice, and when I told her I had not, she appeared irked. Then she reiterated all that she’d said, and, in an attempt to convince me that her suggestions were the utmost in wisdom, she shared examples of how she’d done this successfully.

It was then that I asked for more details about her life, and she happily began sharing!

Can you imagine the chagrin on my too-porous face as she divulged to me--her client--details involving her two divorces, and tidbits about her children who were even then running amuck inside their bad life decisions? 

“But,” she declared, “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” 

I did not return. As I walked to my car that day all I remember thinking was, “She’s more messed up than I am.”

It was time for a new plan, and the epiphany hit on my way home. When I arrived, I walked to the bedroom, clutched onto my Bible (with determination that I use it for my daily ‘alone time’) and began to earnestly pray, seeking God’s direction.

My circumstances stayed the same, but even one verse a day, and a quick prayer of thanks, along with a plea for sanity, and it wasn’t long before my mindset changed.

Why, do you ask, didn’t I think of that in the FIRST place? Answer: I don’t know. I was stupid.

I’m sure God thought so too, since He’d been right there waiting for me to talk to Him. But hey! Sometimes it takes longer for some of us than others. I’ve never claimed to be the brightest bulb in the box.

I’m not saying that all counselling is bad, but who we seek advice from is crucial. And as Christians, shouldn’t we go to God first?

I should’ve been more astute in choosing who I sputtered my woes to, but I expect that the “free to employees” assigned counsellor was a key drawing factor for me. Hmm ... maybe I got what I paid for.

Proverbs 13:20 (NASB1995) says - “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Nonetheless, that counsellor did teach me something: what not to do. Placing the needs of oneself above all others, including the people we love the most, is ridiculous, and more importantly, not what God ever instructed. 

The Bible teaches servanthood--to place others above ourselves.

Don't misunderstand. There’s nothing wrong with alone time. I enjoy a pedicure now and then, or a quiet date with no children screaming for a McHappy Meal. Those are special times, and are needed, on occasion.

But if you remember anything from this rather long blog, here’s my main point: as believers in Jesus Christ, our first go-to should be to go to the ultimate counsellor. 

God is good! He’s waiting to hear us whine and cry out to him. 

Need proof? Think of Job! Even after losing nearly everything, Job never lost His faith in God. But no one really mentions that Job whined along with the best of them! Even me! If you don’t believe me, read that Old Testament book. Job is proof that God will direct even a complainers path. 

Psalm 32:8 (NASB1995) - “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.”

God’s eye is on us! Wow! Amazing promises are packed into that verse!

Don’t you love a good statistic? I know I do, so if you’re not tired of reading, here are a few:

1. Therapy was invented approximately 120 years ago, but today, people are more anxious and depressed than ever before. Make that make sense.

2. The Center for Bible Engagement did a huge study they ended up calling ‘The Rule of 4.’ The study found that reading the Bible four or more times per week can drastically change peoples lives. Among many other interesting stats, here’s what pertains to my point today: 

• 30% of readers are less likely to struggle with loneliness, depression and anxiety 

• anger and bitterness each drop from 30 - 43%

From someone who was living inside overwhelm, anxiety, and bitterness, I can testify that reading consistently from the book that holds all the answers, works!

James 1: 5&6 declares that if we ask unwaveringly, God promises His children wisdom. 

First go-to: God! 

And the Bible instructs us to seek wisdom from others, as well.

Proverbs 19:20 (NASB1995) - “Listen to counsel and accept discipline, that you may be wise the rest of your days.” 

Important: make it the right, and wise, counsel!

In Christ, 

Pattie

Please remember that even if I don’t know you personally, I pray for you and everyone who reads anything I write. If you need prayer for specifics, please feel free to share those things too. Your info will stay between you, me and God. 

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